This is from a second hand acquaintance, a colleague of a friend who moved on to what he thought were greener pastures.

Yesterday I started my new job as an Editor of the Gamhuria Gazette, the oldest English language newspaper in Egypt. Yesterday I quit my new job at the oldest and worst English language newspaper in Egypt.

I was editing a piece on fashion. Egyptian youth these days are, apparently, wearing low-rider jeans and tight fitting clothes. They claim that this is a personal expression of freedom. Their parents are terrified. What?! Their daughters want to look sexy? Their sons admire gangster rappers?

I have to say, I'm not much impressed with the youth culture of America that these Egyptians, especially the privileged, are taking on. What I don't like is that rap culture, at it's most shallow, gives the appearance of rebellion without really providing any sort of social criticism. Of course there is great American rap, but it's not usually on the radio or TV. On the other hand, the kids who spoke up in this piece about fashion were quite articulate. They knew the code, and they knew very well the message they were sending. I really admire that.

The article ended with some college professor saying that "Freedom" couldn't mean the same thing in Egypt because here people have to uphold "traditional Eastern values." I wonder if China is involved somehow in these so-called "Eastern values." Two main problems here: (1) traditional western values don't teach us to wear provocative clothing (anyone remember the bonnet?), and (2) "traditional Eastern values" have fluctuated wildly over the course of the last few centuries and the last few decades.. Of course, what this professor, and the parents in the article, meant by "traditional Eastern values" is obedience to authority. I can't imagine anyone in their right mind calling blind obedience "Freedom." I mean, this is the kind of crap my country's government says!

In the end, I was proud of my contribution to the article. The editor did not approve. Mr. Ramadan, chief editor of the Gazette, had a few minor problems with my composition. Okay, no problem, I still think he was wrong, but I was more than happy to make the changes. Then he told me to lie. I asked him three times just to make sure.

At issue was a particular line which read: "some girls wear pants so tight that they have to put on a bikini underneath just to hide their lady parts when they sit down." He objected to the word "bikini," saying that it must mean shorts. I offered to show him the Arabic original which clearly stated "maillohat" which is a word borrowed from French to mean "bikini" or "bathing suit." He insisted. I told him that I wasn't going to distort some poor young lady's statement. I told him that he had no integrity or regard for the truth. Then I told him to go to hell.

His paper is notoriously conservative, a real tool of the government. He was going to lie so that he could avoid embarrassment, and so that he wouldn't embarrass Egypt. It's that very embarrassment about sex, and the inability to discuss sex frankly in the media, that maintains ignorance and conservatism. Let me make myself clear: I don't care how Egyptians dress. I just think that their attitudes should be fairly portrayed in the media.. I wasn't about to sell my soul for some flatulent and ignorant civil servant masquerading as a journalist, dear Mister Ramadan.

This happens just on the heals of a survey conducted by Dr. Aliyaa Shoukry regarding sexual harassment.

The study found: * 31.9% of women who reported sexual harassment were dressed like figure 1, wearing a blouse, long skirt and veil. 21.0% of women were wearing a longer blouse, pants, and veil like figure 3. Figure 4 was third, where women were wearing a cloak and veil (20 %), then figure 6 (19.6%). These results disprove the belief that sexual harassment is linked to the way women dress (women are sexually harassed when dressed "indecently" or are not veiled - in the words of some participants), since 72.5% of victims surveyed were veiled. *

This confirms that the stereotypical ideas of a patriarchal culture that blames women even if they are victims, is opposite to reality.

As it turns out, the problem isn't with women showing off their beauty.. The problem is that men are insecure and feel threatened by the beauty of a woman.

One more word before I finish. No doubt the Egyptian government will crack down on sexual harassment, especially against foreigners. Egypt is protective of it's tourism dollars.

But the real problem is that people in this country have very little space, almost none at all, for men and women to meet as equals. The veil is just a cover story. What's at stake is the place of women in this society, in this world. Until men and women are equal, sex will continue to be taboo, unsatisfactory, violent and patriarchal.

My aunt has an inoperable brain tumor. It is hard to accept her diagnosis because she does not look, nor behave as if she is ill.  I know it is selfish to want a loved one to stay amongst us longer than they are supposed to, yet I want her to fight. I want her to call upon all of our ancestors, all that is good, all that is love in this universe seen and unseen and grow old with us. 

I am a firm believer in positive thinking, I know that it works. Despite that, I don't want to know how to face a loved ones mortality and continue to smile. 

She is a mother to this motherless child, my friend, and a safe quiet place for me. I don't want to have this internal dialogue, I don't want to miss her, but mostly I don't want to know the awkwardness of her not being here.

My heart is broken, and I am filled with guilt. Sad for all the wasted moments that equate to years of taking her presence in my life for granted. Embarrassed about all the family events that I missed because of the selfishness of youth. Yet here I go across the world, someone please tell me how do I leave with grace?

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